A Long-Distance Relationship in the Time of the Coronavirus

Mela is from Sichuan, China but currently resides in Shenzhen with her boyfriend. When the outbreak hit China and all our cities were forced into self-quarantine, Mela and her boyfriend had to navigate the situation both as a couple and as individuals (as we all do).

I asked Mela to share her story of quarantine and what it’s like being in a “long-distance relationship” during the pandemic because I know some of you are in the same boat and wonder how you can make it through.

I hope Mela’s story can inspire you to stay open-hearted, open-minded, and to hold onto hope in this dark period.

When self-quarantine just started in China, my boyfriend and I would sneak outside every midnight to have a free walk. Free means you don’t need to wear a mask. It’s just a normal walk.

My boyfriend always got upset because his glasses fogged up so easily when his breath just floated straight up.

I still remember how exciting it was when we snuck into a bar to watch the Super Bowl with other Americans, even wearing masks, when most Chinese people chose to stay at home most of the time.

It slowly eats at you when you feel being paranoid and anxious is part of your daily life. Helplessness follows.

So when my boyfriend decided to go to some island to isolate from this disaster, I totally understood and supported it. He needs to find his own way to calm down and keep mentally healthy.

Meanwhile, I can use my energy totally on taking care of myself. No need to see his upset face all the time and not know what to do for him.

I chose to stay for my work, and I want to be close to this disaster, kind of looking forward to something crazy happening when I’m around. You can tell how boring my normal life is.

With my boyfriend in another place, we talk to each other every hour when we both are awake. He hammers so much new information not related to the coronavirus into my brain to maintain that it functions well, by pulling me out of those sad death stories online.

In these 45 days, we celebrated each other’s birthdays separately. He had a fat burger and I made myself a 3-course meal. I think I won.

He shows me wild cows wandering on the village roads and beach dogs that use him to get more territory. The only horse and goat on that island were imported by an Italian. I even learned that the geckos are rapists, too. (Emily’s note: Mela sent me a video of this incidence her boyfriend witnessed in nature, but I decided to omit it…takes up too much bandwidth!)

The more we shared the more we wanted to start a new life.

I’m not going to use coronavirus as my moral high ground, but I do reflect on my unbalanced city life. Life is so short.

After 45 days, he found a perfect location to run a guesthouse on that island. This has been our dream for years, and we can afford it at this crazy time.

As I’m typing this we have already inherited 2 dogs and 2 cats before we even own that place, and hopefully, I can go there to meet him to start a new life soon.

Keep rolling, my friend. No matter how hard the times are.

Update: As of April 1st, Mela and her boyfriend have become the proud owners of a guesthouse in Cambodia!!!